What I Say And What You Hear
by Tori Yuki Ichimura
Summary: She married the man she loved, and though he tried, he couldn't love her back... (yaoi implications, suicide)


**Tori:** I feel the call of an angst fic!

**Kegawa: **Which means she's going to sit here and whine about her life through the characters…

**Tori: **Alas, tis too true, my friend… I have been through more than should be thrown at a girl in the flower of her youth!

**Ke: ***holds head in hand* Here we go…

**Tori: **Mine is a tale of romance and heartbreak… Happiness and sorrow… 

**Ke: **Oh, God… Why can't you just work on your other projects!?

**Tori: **Because… *gives Ke a funny look* …I need to get this angst out of my system.

_This is not meant to offend anyone and, as you all know, I support Douseiai, so…_

_If it does offend you (and you're not a piece-o-crap homophobic) just tell me and I'll take it down._

**What I Said And What You Heard**

****

            _"You may kiss the bride," smiled the minister and the new husband lifted his bride's veil and placed a light kiss on her lips. _WHIRRR…! __

_            "- take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? For better or worse… For poorer or richer…In sickness and in health… 'Till death do you part? "_

_            "I do."_

_            "And do you-"_ CLICK! The vid screen shut off and the room fell into darkness. Slouched in a shadowed corner sat a girl in her early thirties, the remote slipping from her limp fingers. She raised her eyes and her lips twisted into a rueful smile. Her face was pale and her damp hair hung limply to the floor, curling into dirty spirals on the concrete.

            She was wearing the same wedding dress as the bride in the video, but it was torn and blacked with grime. The tattered veil rested lopsidedly on her head and a bouquet of shriveled roses were was scattered about her. "I do…" she rasped.

            It had seemed so perfect… She would marry a wonderful, sensitive, humorous, caring, loving man, and he would be free to date whomever he wanted outside the marriage. She had known he was a homosexual, but she loved him anyway. It didn't matter to her that he would never love her. But… it was too painful when he didn't come home some nights, or did come home, brining another man with him.

            They had a child, but she couldn't bear to look at her. She was a lie. Something her husband could hide behind, to validate their marriage. He thought she would be happy with their daughter, but he knew, too, that he could never really be her father. Oh, he would certainly try, but how could he explain things to her.

            Why he and her mother didn't share a room. Why he spent more time with his boyfriend than at home. Why her mother was always crying…

            Was it because he had failed? Because he hadn't tried hard enough to love his bride? No, it was just the card that life had dealt him. He didn't choose to be the way he was. It was her fault for trying to change him.

            CLICK! WHIRRR…! 

_"For better or worse…For poorer or richer…  In sickness and in health… 'Till death do you part?"_

_            "I do."_

"Liar. You were supposed to leave me when I died," the woman growled, tossing the remote at the vid screen and listening for the satisfying shatter of glass. But she would have no satisfaction…

            She glanced at the scars on her wrists and clenched her fists, collapsing into sobs onto the cold concrete. The video continued to play, skipping erratically.

            _The coupled climbed into the back of a white limo and it pulled off, a sign in the back window telling all who cared to read it that the people inside were 'Just Married'._

WHIRRR…!

_            He carried her inside the hotel room and they collapsed laughing onto the bed. No matter how much they smiled, their pain-seared eyes betrayed them._

WHIRRR…!

_            She smiled triumphantly up at him as their baby daughter was placed in her arms. He leaned in and tickled under the newborn's chin._

WHIRRR…!

_            Their daughter sat in the living room playing with her blocks as her mother and father argued in the kitchen. She seemed not to notice when her father slapped her mother across the face and she stormed out the door._

WHIRRR…!

_            She was taken aback when her daughter, now a few years older, called her father a 'God-damned flaming homo' after something she had said at the height of her anger and deeply regretted._

WHIRRR…!

_            He hugged her tightly and whispered to her comfortingly as their daughter, now a teen, accused them of their relationship and demanded to know why she was born in the first place if her parents never loved each other._

WHIRRR…!

_            She stood bent over the sink, fumbling with a razor. After some soul-searching, she reported it as missing and- _CLICK! WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…!

            _"Do you, Duo Maxwell, take this woman as your lawfully wedded wife?"_

_            "I do."_

_~*~Owari~*~_

**Ke: **So… you married a gay man, killed yourself, and came back as a fanfiction authoress? Is that the point you're trying to get across?

**Tori: ***sweatdrop*

**Ke: **Makes sense… I suppose a poor Japanese college kid is about as low as you can go on the reincarnation chain, and that would be a suitable punishment for suici-

**Tori: **KE! Would you shut up!? That's NOT my point!

**Ke: **`(o.O)' …then…what is your point…?

**Tori: **Nah… I'm just making a statement. I mean, I dated a gay guy once and, no matter how hard you try, you can't change them! So don't try! They're happy the way they are and will certainly try to please you, but… It hurts them!

**Ke: **And somehow you manage to forbid me from asking Duet out by discussing an almost completely but not entirely unrelated subject…

**Tori: **Um, no, actually… That just goes against the laws of inter-species breeding…

**Ke: **One date. Just ONE DATE! PLEASE, DUET! *gets down on knees* PLEASE!?


End file.
